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Skeleton Jokes

Skeletones, vampires, ghosts, witches, werewolves, pumpkins, scarecrows and many, many more infernal creatures come out from the forbidden world and appear at Halloween's night.
But, althought you may consider them as scary and dangerous, there's nothing to be afraid of! Laugh at them- they're funny and a bit silly :-)...


Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.

Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
A: Skull tures.

Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Q: What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs.

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it.

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm?
A: Nothing gets under their skin.

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them.

Q: Why are graveyards so noisy?
A: Beacause of all the coffin.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks?
A: They had a rattling good time.

Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital?
A: To have his ghoul stones removed.

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
A: He could feel it in his bones.

Q: What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument?
A: A trom-bone.

Q: How do skeletons call their friends?
A: On the telebone.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who sleeps late?
A: Lazy bones.

Q: What do boney people use to get into their homes?
A: Skeleton keys.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns?
A: Skint Eastwood.

Q: What happens if a boat sinks in a river of piranha fish?
A: It comes back with a skeleton crew.

Q: What is a skeletons like to drink milk?
A: Milk - it's so good for the bones.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who doesnt do homework?
A: Bonehead.

Q: What happened to the lazy skeleton?
A: He was bone idle.

Q: Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school?
A: He was boning up for his exams.

Q: What sort of soup do skeletons like?
A: One with plenty of body in it.

Q: Why did the skeleton run up a tree?
A: Because a dog was after his bones.

Q: What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
A: I love every bone in your body.

Q: Why wasn't the naughty skeleton afraid of the police?
A: Because he knew they couldn't pin anything on him.

Q: How do skeletons get their mail?
A: By bony express.

Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A: They have no organs.

Q: What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off?
A: Bone china.

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: Because the wind just goes straight through them.

Q: What did the old skeleton complain of?
A: Aching bones.

Q: What is a skeleton?
A: Somebody on a diet who forgot to say "when".

Q: Why are skeletons so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies?
A: A boney phoney.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to play football?
A: Because his heart wasn't in it.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell?
A: A dead ringer.

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: How did skeletons send their letters in the old days?
A: By bony express.

Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson?
A: I'm bone to be wild.