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Being Irish- a few funny features- written by Irish!

You know you are Irish when...

1) You will never play professional basketball

2) You swear very well

3) At least one of your cousins holds political office

4) You think you sing very well

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short

6) You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf

7) There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone...

8) Much of your food was boiled

9) You have never hit your head on the ceiling

10) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling

11) You're strangely poetic after a few beers

12) You're, therefore, poetic a lot

13) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot

14) Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations

15) Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her

16) Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth

17) Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you

18) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing

19) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking

20) "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"

21) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency

22) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party

23) You are, or know someone, named "Murph"

24) If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy

25) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret

26) Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room

27) The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks

28) You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope

29) You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't excercise it yourself

30) You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast

31) You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor

32) You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies

33) The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get

34) You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner

35) You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle

36) You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!